Cesar Millan vs. Santa Claus

It is Christmas season so we must ponder the most important question of all –

Who is the best?

Cesar Millan, The Dog Whisperer or …
Santa Claus, The Child Listener?!

Santa Shiba Sephy.

Be the Pack Leader: Use Cesar’s Way to Transform Your Dog . . . and Your Life. Source: Amazon.com

Cesar Millan!

1. Cesar’s pack of Pit Bulls, and Rottweilers has superior battle skills compared to Santa and Santa’s pack of reindeer.
2. Cesar roller blades with his pack of dogs while Santa travels in a garish, old-fashioned, sleigh.
3. Cesar is trim, fit, and would be able to fit through chimneys of all sizes. Santa has to use a rope and pulley system.
4. Cesar makes millions from his t.v. show, dog training books, DVDs, and equipment.
   Santa spends all year making toys, and does not make a cent. He does not even get royalty payments for the many products that bear his resemblance.
   Santa really needs a new business manager.
5. Cesar lives in L.A. and gets to rub shoulders with famous celebrities such as Oprah and Will Smith. Santa lives in the North Pole and only gets to leave home once a year.
6. Cesar gets mail, e-mail, blog entries, fan websites, and much more all year round. Santa only gets mail once a year, and it is not even “real mail” but rather lists of things that people want.

Santa Claus!

Santa Nakago (from Fushigi Yuugi)

1. In a wrestling match, Santa’s size would probably give him an advantage over Cesar. However, Cesar is much younger, fitter, and in better physical health. So this may be a draw; except that nobody likes people who beat up on Santa!
2. Santa can tolerate the harsh cold of the North Pole. Since Cesar grew up in Mexico and is now living in LA, he would probably get frostbite.
3. Cesar fulfills a dog’s needs, Santa fulfills a child’s dreams.
4. Cesar has to pay his helpers, Santa’s elves work for free.
5. As far as we know, Santa has never gotten bitten by a child, while Cesar has been bitten many times by dogs.
6. Santa has a higher Google ranking than Cesar. Santa gets 673,000 average searches per month whereas Cesar only gets 40,500. Even if you add up all the name permutations and misspellings; Cesar still trails greatly behind Santa.
7. Santa’s sleigh is much more fuel efficient than Cesar’s SUV. Santa’s sleigh is environmentally friendly and not affected by OPEC.
8. If you choose to bet on Cesar, you may never receive a Christmas present ever again.