Rude Dogs
What makes a dog rude?
That depends. Different people have different tolerances towards dogs.
Some people think that a jumping dog is rude, others think that licking is rude and dirty, and some do not like a dog coming near them at all.
Rudeness is relative.
In fact, we frequently have different tolerances towards different types of dogs. We are more friendly and tolerant of dogs that we find attractive, cute, or endearing and vice versa.
While walking my dog, I stay away from other people’s space. If there are pedestrians on a narrow sidewalk, I stop to the side or move into a driveway. We do not know the dog tolerance level of strangers, so it is best to be safe and avoid contact.
Some people stop and want to meet Shania, which is also great because she loves meeting people. She does like to jump though, so I always make sure to mention that.
Some people like looking at dogs but are also afraid of them. I met a lady last week who stood a distance away from Shania, made googly eyes at her, while saying “Hi” in a high pitched voice.
To the dog, all this attention from a distance is not only exciting, but also an invitation to meet. I said “Hi” back to her and calmly moved on.
Stop Rude Dog Behavior
Rude dog behaviors can be stopped through proper management and training. Dogs repeat behaviors that get them good results and stop behaviors that get them bad results. Dogs jump when meeting people because they usually get a lot of attention when they jump.
When a dog jumps, our instinct is to push the dog away. This usually ends up making the interaction even more exciting for the dog. From the dog’s point of view – it is a fun wrestling game.
To stop a dog from jumping, fold up your arms and turn away from him every time he jumps. In this way, he learns that jumping = no attention, and paws on the ground = lots of attention. However, for this to work, it is necessary to instruct everyone that meets your dog to follow this process. Otherwise, the dog will jump on most people, and only not jump on those that ignore them.
Rude People
Just like rudeness in dogs, rudeness in people is also relative.
Just like rude dogs, rude people are not born rude. Instead, such people act rude because they are rewarded for their rudeness.
Workplaces, for example, are commonly filled with many rude people. If done right, rudeness in the workplace is often not seen as rudeness, but rather as intelligence, confidence, or strength. Clever bullies at the workplace know how to manage their bosses and peers. They are only rude to those who have less power, and/or seem like they can be easily intimidated.
Online forums are also a breeding ground for nasty people and bullies.
Why Be Rude?
For me, rudeness has very little upside. When someone is rude to us, and we return the favor, it just escalates into a tit-for-tat attack session. In the end there are many unhappy people, and a lot of wasted time.
Some common reasons people use for their rudeness include –
- We are just speaking the truth.
- The question is stupid.
- He did it first.
- I’m doing it for a good cause, e.g. to save dogs.
All of these reasons are problematic.
Truth can be spoken in a positive, neutral, or negative way. For example, I can say –
It is best to stay away from pet store puppies because they usually come from puppy mills. Puppy mills not only breed unhealthy puppies with poor temperament, but they also keep their dogs in extremely bad conditions. For more information, check out what The Humane Society of the United States, ASPCA, Oprah Winfrey, and Cesar Millan have to say about puppy mills.
Alternatively, I can say –
If you buy a puppy from a pet store then you are a stupid, poor-excuse of a human being. You are lazy, have not done your research, and should have your head examined. Then, you should be shot.
Both statements are against buying puppies from pet stores but one is rude and one is not. In fact, the neutral answer provides a lot more information and is more effective at convincing someone not to buy from a pet store.
Rude answers or comments rarely help our cause, and usually end up hurting it. The common responses to rudeness include –
- Attack back in kind.
- Stop listening and leave.
- Take exactly the opposite action.
In all scenarios, the dogs lose.
How Not to Be Rude
- If you feel the question is stupid, then just ignore it and focus on the good questions.
- If you truly care about the welfare of dogs, then put your ego in the back burner and use positive or neutral communication to convince others to join your cause. Rudeness will only make people stop listening to you, or do exactly the opposite of what you say.
- If *he* did it first, then be the first to walk away. Back and forth rudeness never ends up well. This article on online negativity explores more ways of how to deal with online bullies.
It is My Right to Be Rude!
Yes, indeed it is.
If you get your jollies from verbally attacking, degrading, and insulting others, you are free to do so. There are always bad repercussions though, and in the long term, you may not enjoy the results.
The truth is, there are many more constructive ways to spend your time.
As a person with a severe and lifelong dog phobia, I’m incredibly thankful for dog owners like you. I wish more of them had this attitude and kept their pets away from visibly terrified people. Sadly, most of them gets offended, laughs or dismisses the whole issue while repeating their dog won’t bite me. I’m glad to hear that, but I don’t even want it to get too close to me.
I’ve experienced rude people at the dog park. I usually go on walks at the lake or around my area, & my German Shepherd (West German) gets a lot of attention because of his beauty & coat & muscular body. He has a health guarantee, & we researched the breeder, who was also recommended to us by professionals in the dog business. The only place where people are rude is the dog park. I’ll have some people make negative comments because he’s not a rescue dog. Or some will say often in a rude tone, “what’s wrong with him” … I usually try to inform them that he’s a West German breed, & there are several different Shepherd breeds, with each breed having a different look. Most of the time they don’t listen or cut me off, so I can tell they are only interested in making a rude comment. Why does this only happen at the dog park. I’ve decided to either just agree that he was in an accident or avoid the park altogether. There’s also more aggressive dogs there (mine is gentle with other dogs & good around people).
Dogs are not rude, but some dog owners are.
If I have trouble avoiding a large dog off leash, I would explain to the owner I am afraid of dogs and ask which way they are going. About half the time, the owner either ignore me, and continue towards me or they make rude comments.
I am excited to have stumbled upon this website. We have a cockapoo puppy and I am training him but the difficulty I run in to is two fold. I will ask people not to give him attention when he jumps. One neighbor in particular will follow me even when I remove the puppy and ask that he not. I then get a lecture on how my puppy jumps because he is not exercised enough. I take him on my morning and evening jogs and we walk around town. The neighbor follows this up with insisting we let his kids walk out dog, which I’ve told him repeatedly makes me uncomfortable. I also explain that he gets exercise and try to educate him on why puppies jump and how he could truly help in training my puppy he seems so interested in but he only cuts me off and offers dog walking service again. I guess I should just avoid his family when I’m with my puppy?
Yeah, I would probably do that. I usually cross the road, focus all my attention on my dog, give calm directions to my dog, and move on. In this way, most people get it that I am engaged in training my dog and don’t try to interrupt. There are some who may feel slighted, but I decided long ago that my dogs take priority over making small talk with neighbors.
One commenter suggested putting an “in-training” vest on our dog (similar to the vest that guide dogs wear) so that it is more clear that the dog is “working” and should not be approached.
I also made the mistake of letting others give food to my dogs. This is a really bad idea because most people do not really know when and how to treat a dog, thereby leading to even more excited greetings and bad behaviors.
I’ve lost some friends because I asked them to leave their dogs home on our upcoming river rafting trip. Maybe I made a mistake. They took it really personally. If I knew how much drama it was going to cause, maybe I would have let it go. Why can’t I choose to not be around dogs? Also, the dogs always tear around the woods chasing animals and digging up the landscape. These things are explicitly listed as against the rules. I have a dog and I don’t force others to be around her. Please comment freely. Thanks.
I don’t think you were wrong but people get touchy about their pets and kids. If you had said this to me I would probably not go on the trip but I would still be your friend. For me, not going would have been more about not wanting to leave my dog somewhere and less about making a passive aggressive statement. I don’t know you but if you presented your request or concern in a respectful manner I would think they could just have a dialogue with you I.e. “We don’t feel comfortable leaving out dog at home. Are there adjustments we can make so you will be more comfortable? If not then I’m sorry but we can not go”. If they can’t handle a mature conversation about something like this you may be better off. We shouldn’t have to tip toe around friends imho.
I feel like people can be rude by allowing there dog to be rude to other people. I have neighbors in a duplex apartment with a dog that they let jump on us every time we both outside. I don’t mind being jumped on once in a while, but my room mates and I can’t walk from our front door to are car with out being jumped on by a wet muddy dog at least half a dozen times. The owners just stand there and watch. They don’t put a leash on the dog or even apologize. It is very frustrating since my room mates and I are all about to graduate from college so we are often going to job interviews wearing our best attire. I have tried ignoring the dog, but I think the owners let her get away with it so often that it makes no difference.
Yeah, I agree with you. The off-leash dog issue is really a people issue, which makes it much harder to “fix”. Unfortunately, it is a common problem, especially in this day and age, where empathy is a forgotten word.
http://shibashake.com/dog/off-leash-neighborhood-dogs
I think you are justified in kicking the dog away. It has worked for me in the past. I have had some owners be unhappy about it. Maybe you should just kick the owner. They are the problem. Maybe bring dog treats with you and throw them up the sidewalk a little bit. How did you get tomorrow’s date on your post? Are you in Europe?
I just read your article and I can relate to it! I have a shiba inu named Timber I made the mistake of getting him as my first dog. One day I took him out for a walk. When we came back in one of my parent’s friends was sitting in the lounge ( I live in an apartment.) We went in side once again I made a mistake of taking him into a small room with a total stranger. He panicked and started barking! He then pointed at my dog and made him more excited then he told him in a loud voice to shut up! I was stunned this guy was 40 and he was telling my dog to shut up! I was shocked I couldn’t believe it! After I got home I gave Timber a cookie and told him it was okay. I haven’t seen the guy since the incident.
Yeah, when it comes to other people’s dogs, everybody thinks that they can do better. The same thing with other people’s kids.
When I first got my Shiba, my neighbors told me I was doing this, that, and the other thing wrong. I have since learned that it is best to just nod my head, quickly leave, and do my own research. It is difficult not to be affected by rudeness. I think you did absolutely the right thing in just leaving and not wasting any of your time on rude guy.