Do you get embarrassed when your dog misbehaves in public?
When I first got Shiba Sephy I was constantly embarrassed by him.
Being a Shiba Inu, he is not very interested in being a model citizen, and more interested in doing whatever he wants.
I took him out on five 30-45 minute walks every day, but he was still a very wild, hyper thing inside and outside the house.
The worst was his leash biting.
If I tried to stop him from doing something during our walks, he would redirect his frustrations onto the leash and sometimes onto me. Several times, he jumped on me and did kill-moves on my jacket sleeve.
This was all very entertaining for my neighbors.
Many of them would watch from their windows, or even come out of their house to get front-row seats during our leash-biting dance. Many of them also offered free dog training advice; much of which was conflicting and inaccurate.
It seems that everyone is an expert when it comes to someone elses’ dog.
Needless to say, I was very embarrassed by Sephy’s behavior.
Because I was embarrassed, I got frustrated and angry with him, which made him get even more Shiba crazy.
Finally, I decided that this path of embarrassment only led to bad things; for both Sephy and me.
Rather than be worried by what random strangers thought about my dog parenting skills, it was more important to do what was best for Sephy and help him live a happy, low-stress life.
Once I put my ego into cold storage and started to focus on my dog, things improved significantly. I also realized that most of my previous spectators had problem dogs of their own, and were probably just as embarrassed as I was.
When it comes to dog training – it is best to gather information on your own and make up your own mind in terms of what makes the most sense for your dog.
It is human nature to be affected by what others think of us.
However, when I start to feel that way, I consciously refocus on the well-being of my dogs and let people on the street think whatever they want.
I have been reading your blog off and on for a few months now, and I have to say, it is the most helpful resource I have found. I stumbled on to it when I was having problems with my dog (shepherd/malamute) jumping on me and biting me on walks. You said something about asking yourself what’s the worst that could happen–my dog will bite me. AHA! That is not so bad. My dog is not trying to kill me, he’s just trying to express his frustration. Worst case is, I will have bruises. Soon after I realized that, and had a plan in place to deal with it, the biting and jumping all but stopped.
Last night, I got really upset because I took G. out and we ended up getting turned around and coming out at a high-traffic intersection. He is quite reactive to cars, and although he is getting better, there seems to be a threshold where he simply cannot stop himself from lunging. We were working up the street at a snail’s pace. I would have him sit and treat him while two or three cars went by. But the minute I let him out of the sit, he would lunge at the next car that came along. As we were getting further away from the intersection, a girl shouted something rude at me from her car. I came home in tears. I put so much effort into everything in my life, including my dog, and I just couldn’t understand how someone could see me struggling and want to make me feel WORSE about what was going on.
But then I came here and I realized — of course I have a reactive dog. I am a reactive person. He really is just mirroring my own insecurities and embarrassments and if I (somehow) put them aside, I bet he will too. Easier said than done. Still, thank you.
I am so sorry that you had to go through that. I think rude people like that are usually not very happy people, so they strike out and spread their misery around. I had a neighbor like that who would always honk and shout at me every time he saw me walking my dog. He does that to other people with dogs as well, shouting at them about picking up after their dog, even though none of us were walking close to his property. In fact, I always avoid his house.
He would also shout at people who didn’t drive fast enough for him, or I imagine, just came close to his proximity. He was a very angry person. Luckily, the whole family moved away. That was a good day for everyone in the neighborhood.
The thing though, is that the majority of people that I meet are usually quite nice, but unfortunately, these bad experiences usually affect us the most. I try my best to focus on my dog and the positive people around me, and avoid the nasty people whenever I can. Writing stuff down can also help. 😀
http://chataboutyou.com/nasty-people
http://chataboutyou.com/negative-people-dealing-with-online-negativity
Big hugs!
Your doing everything you can, thats admirable,forget that rude person, I also have a really tricky dog we’ve done everything we can and its frustrating and tiring but we love him so much so I understand keep it up you’ll get thereand its not your fault you’re much better than a owner that would put the dog in a shelter and give up